The Legend of Knockertron (EP.5)

Note that all of the content in this blog is 96.45% fictional.

Knockertron was filled with hope for a new beginning as he returned to the house of his soon-to-be friend Samii Escobar. He knocked on the door in his imagination and then climbed in the window because he’s Knockertron and he don’t follow your petty rules. “Hello” said Samii “I’ve been expecting you young Tron”

“Cut the cheese Jack” said Knockertron with aplomb “Are we gonna be homies or not dog?!”

“Your anger upsets me” revealed Samii “I’m not sure if I can live the fast paced life being a friend of yours seems to entail. However if a season ticket to the Mexico City Garcias Pelotas games was included we could be in business” (Pelotas is a fast paced sport quite like squash but played by Mexicans with hollowed out banana’s instead of rackets.)

a“We have a deal mon garçon.” said Knockertron thus forming the most dynamic partnership in modern media since the Mario Brothers. Yes that is the kind of awesomeness we are talking about here Knockertron fans, this is like Bart and Homer on steroids and it’s at least double Phineas & Pherb. Brace your spleens it’s about to down.

The two newfound friends hit the L.A. club scene hard as a celebration of their friendship. Charlie Sheen was even quoted as saying “Oh those two oh yeah… they’re trouble I steer well clear of those crazy b*****ds. They off the chain yo” They partied so hard that at 5 o’clock the next afternoon the two of them woke up in a post office with 4 banana peels and six angry midgets in their bag packs. The post office staff laughed about it but the midgets did not. Luckily Knockertron managed to fight their way out of the post office via 6 swift kicks to the dwarves respective windpipes.

“Well that was a sticky situation” grumbled Samii “And while I had a great time we should probably get on to avenging your uncle. Bill (Gates) is gonna be pissed.” “Ye I’m gonna register as a superhero in the morning.” Replied Knockertron “But first I gotta get home and hit the hay. Last night has me layed out liked a flame grilled Bathurst sausage.”

“See you in the morning.” Replied Samii agreeably “I got to deal some drugs at the old folk’s home yano, business is booming these days.” And with that the two heroes went to bed ready for any adventure that could possibly hit them the next day. (Except a Lord of the Rings style adventure-quest, that would really suck.)

End of Episode 5

(Episodes will be released every Wednesday, Friday & Sunday)

Like & Share and of course thanks for reading- Octavius

A game of Pelota being played in Mexico.

The Legend of Knockertron (EP.4)

Note that all of the content of this blog is 96.45% fictional

            Still reeling from the death of Bruce Lee and having completely forgotten about his plan to become a professional cyclist, Knockertron stumbled from open bar to open bar on the L.A club scene. In fact by 9.30pm he was so wasted you could have knocked him over with an internet. He probably would have knocked over at least 14 dustbins on the way home if it wasn’t for the interjection of a kindly soul. And that soul was a young Korean man called Samii Escobar.

            Samii Escobar came across Knockertron earlier in the evening. He picked him out because he thought that it was slightly odd that a chicken was downing shots of Jack Daniels on the L.A club scene. He decided to follow him and help him get home because Mr. Escobar was a kindly sort of fellow. He was also a big contributor to the founder of popular boy-band Boyzonal. All these factors combined to compel Mr. Escobar to follow our hero. It turned out to be a decision that would alter both of these colorful characters lives forever. So Samii escorted our hero to his home and waited until till he awoke.

“You were pretty banana’d last night” said Samii

“I was fine if not for the fish and chips” replied Knockertron

“That may be true but you have angered the Gods” yelled Samii

“I do not care for weathermen, Good day to you Sir!!” replied Knockertron and stampeded out of Samii’s dwelling.

“You will need me when the time comes” shouted Samii after him.

            Back at Crazy Bill’s Funky Farmyard our hero was contemplating recent events in his life. “Maybe I should let this new guy into my sub-concious” he thought. “I need a strong male influence in my life after my father cast me out and my uncle died. But maybe he might just use me for my cookie recipe.” After much of this kind of deliberating Knockertron decided to return to the dwelling of this mystery man (Who isn’t a mystery to any of you readers! Lol) Knockertron was about to make his first real friend since the late nineties. The lone wolf that was Knockertron would no longer be completely alone. He would have one friend.

End of Episode 4

(Episode 5 will be up on Sunday.)

P.S Like Share & follow, Knockertron gives his thanks

Samii Escobar

The Legend of Knockertron (EP. 3)

Note that all of the content in this blog is 96.45% fictional.

As soon as Knockertron left the arena, he was confronted by his uncle. The initial delight at seeing his long lost uncle was immediately extinguished by the stream of abuse that flew out of Shaniqua III’s mouth. “You little fart-nugget!” he said “You were always a terrible fighter and we both know it. What’s changed?”

“N-n-n-nothing” stammered Knockertron nervously. But the more nervous he became the more goatee-hairs sprouted out of his moistened chin.

“Oh No.” exclaimed Shaniqua III “Please don’t tell me you’ve been involved with goats! Goats are terrible. They’ll tell you that you’re the one for them on Monday and then by Thursday they’ll be in Sweden with Barbara from work drinking milkshakes at a cinema. If you have anything to do with any goats I’m dead to you.”

“Wait what?” said Knockertron.

Then as if on cue a strange creature that called itself “El Moe Keily Fox” dropped down from its web on the roof and slit Shaniqua III’s throat. Shaniqua was indeed now dead to him. “Damn.” said Knockertron and aimlessly walked around in circles for a few minutes allowing El Moe to make his escape. Knockertron then came to his senses and knelt beside the body of his uncle. “I’m so sorry” he croaked “I was experimented on by goats and given goat-like powers. But I swear to you when I volunteered for the experiment I didn’t know that they would be goats, I thought they would be water-voles or something. I didn’t knooww!!!”

“Well I suppose that makes sense.” replied Shaniqua “Water-voles are always experimenting on things… Don’t worry I forgive you. But before I die know this my young enchilada, you have great power now, and with all great power comes . . . muffins! And with that the great warrior Bruce Lee died (Bruce Lee happened to die at the exact same time as Shaniqua III, who was a terrible warrior by the way.)

“Noooooooooo!!!!!” screamed Knockertron “Enter the Dragon was a bad-ass movie! How could Bruce Lee die.” and slowly still reeling from the shock of his hero’s death our hero traipsed away from the brutally-defaced remains of his uncle. (In case you are wondering his remains were defaced by delinquent guinea pigs.)

Later that day Knockertron was contemplating the death of his uncle. He never really liked him but at the same time remembered Ancient Mexican chicken rule #142: “The death of all chickens must be avenged within 30 days or great dishonor will be brought onto the family of entrepreneur Bill Gates.” Not wanting his Xbox One pre-order to be damaged in any way Knockertron knew that he couldn’t allow shame to be brought on Mr. Gates or his family. He knew what he had to do. He had to wear tight pants, go by a ridiculous name, win over the affections of the local female news reporter and then finally in the last episode avenge the death of his loved one. “What do you call people who do that again” thought Knockertron aloud, disturbing the other residents of Crazy Bill’s Funky Farmyard. “Oh yeah, they’re called cyclists! I’m going to be a cyclist!” Knockertron was suddenly happy as he ate on the muffins he had gained because of his great power. Everything was going to be Quentin Tarantino.

End of Part Three

(The blog will be updated with a new episode every Wednesday Saturday & Sunday. Happy Hanucca!  -Octavius)

P.S. Like and share please

Shaniqua III back in college

The Legend of Knockertron (EP.1)

Note that all of the content in this blog is 96.45% fictional.

Welcome friends. You are about to go on a journey that will be approximately 2.4 times better than a bacon double cheeseburger (A slightly above average one at that!) If you have any complaints I will read them but I will really, really do not care. Prepare your rib-cages ladies & gentleman, we are about to enter into the world of Knockertron.

Our story starts in New Mexico City where a young fighting chicken called Knockertron is in his first ever cockfight. "Don’t get trampled son” Called out his father, Richardson the 3^rd. It was irrelevant that the chicken he was fighting was a female half his size with only one leg and no beak, Knockertron was indeed getting trampled by her. Then he did something that no cock-fighter was ever supposed to do. He ran out of the fighting pit! A collective gasp emerged from the crowd. The chicken-chieftain immediately confronted our hero.  “Knockertron” he said “You are hereby banished from the chicken tribe of Kernel Sanders Lake”. Everyone turned and walked back to the village except for Knockertron’s father. “I always knew you were a terrible fighting chicken” he said “I just hope you can find yourself out there in the world” and then he too walked away.

And so Knockertron traipsed for miles looking for work. Nowhere would employ him, most people said they had no place for a “chicken” in the workplace others just tried to cook him. However at last he came across a strange factory with a sign outside saying “Subject needed for high risk high reward experiment. We cannot guarantee you will leave with your life. Convinced he had nowhere else to turn our hero walked in. He was immediately mobbed by a herd of goats. Confused and disorientated he was strapped to a chair and gagged. It was only then that he realized all the goats were wearing lab coats and muttering something about how a chicken would have to do. The one with the longest goatee who seemed to be the leader started talking to him in Swahili which Knockertron luckily understood. “I assume you are to be the subject” said the goat “well not like you have much choice anyway hahaha. Well the experiment is that we have exposed one of our goats to extreme radiation and he is going to bite you. This will either kill you or give you the strength of a goat and the ability to grow a small wispy beard just by thinking about it. Shall we proceed?”  Knockertron had nothing to lose he had no family and no village, slowly he nodded his head. “Perfect” said the goat. The radioactive goat bit into Knockertron’s flesh and everything faded into darkness.

He came to in the middle of an empty field. There was something resting against his head. It was a sticky note. It read “Operation was a success. Enjoy the power.” Knockertron flexed his muscles. Sure enough he was slightly stronger than before. He then thought about having a goatee. Flecks of hair started to appear out of his chin but goatees are stupid so he cut them off with his know slightly sharper talons. He felt invincible.  He decided he would go to the L.A club scene and conquer the world of cock-fighting. He would show all of the people who banished him. He ran off into the sunset at the speed of a goat but then had to go back because he forgot his sandals. Undeterred he set off majestically again. This was going to be the start of a Legend. The Legend of Knockertron…

End of Episode 1.

 (Stay posted as Episode 2 will be up in a matter of days)

P.S. Please share this blog on all your new fangled social mediums

The chief of Knockertrons tribe before a title fight.