Note that all of the content in this blog is 96.45% fictional.
Welcome friends. You are about to go on a journey that will be approximately 2.4 times better than a bacon double cheeseburger (A slightly above average one at that!) If you have any complaints I will read them but I will really, really do not care. Prepare your rib-cages ladies & gentleman, we are about to enter into the world of Knockertron.
Our story starts in New Mexico City where a young fighting chicken called Knockertron is in his first ever cockfight. "Don’t get trampled son” Called out his father, Richardson the 3rd. It was irrelevant that the chicken he was fighting was a female half his size with only one leg and no beak, Knockertron was indeed getting trampled by her. Then he did something that no cock-fighter was ever supposed to do. He ran out of the fighting pit! A collective gasp emerged from the crowd. The chicken-chieftain immediately confronted our hero. “Knockertron” he said “You are hereby banished from the chicken tribe of Kernel Sanders Lake”. Everyone turned and walked back to the village except for Knockertron’s father. “I always knew you were a terrible fighting chicken” he said “I just hope you can find yourself out there in the world” and then he too walked away.
And so Knockertron traipsed for miles looking for work. Nowhere would employ him, most people said they had no place for a “chicken” in the workplace others just tried to cook him. However at last he came across a strange factory with a sign outside saying “Subject needed for high risk high reward experiment. We cannot guarantee you will leave with your life. Convinced he had nowhere else to turn our hero walked in. He was immediately mobbed by a herd of goats. Confused and disorientated he was strapped to a chair and gagged. It was only then that he realized all the goats were wearing lab coats and muttering something about how a chicken would have to do. The one with the longest goatee who seemed to be the leader started talking to him in Swahili which Knockertron luckily understood. “I assume you are to be the subject” said the goat “well not like you have much choice anyway hahaha. Well the experiment is that we have exposed one of our goats to extreme radiation and he is going to bite you. This will either kill you or give you the strength of a goat and the ability to grow a small wispy beard just by thinking about it. Shall we proceed?” Knockertron had nothing to lose he had no family and no village, slowly he nodded his head. “Perfect” said the goat. The radioactive goat bit into Knockertron’s flesh and everything faded into darkness.
He came to in the middle of an empty field. There was something resting against his head. It was a sticky note. It read “Operation was a success. Enjoy the power.” Knockertron flexed his muscles. Sure enough he was slightly stronger than before. He then thought about having a goatee. Flecks of hair started to appear out of his chin but goatees are stupid so he cut them off with his know slightly sharper talons. He felt invincible. He decided he would go to the L.A club scene and conquer the world of cock-fighting. He would show all of the people who banished him. He ran off into the sunset at the speed of a goat but then had to go back because he forgot his sandals. Undeterred he set off majestically again. This was going to be the start of a Legend. The Legend of Knockertron…
(Stay posted as Episode 2 will be up in a matter of days)
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| The chief of Knockertrons tribe before a title fight. |
1 comments:
Funny and ting
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